tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88570836969329073772023-11-15T10:02:45.313-06:00Life Without a Loved OneMy dad passed away on 01/28/2010. He was a cornerstone of my life. The first year is the hardest and I'm here to say it all..... the good the bad the thoughts anyone goes through this thinks yet no one says.Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-40999288672784776512010-08-01T10:18:00.002-05:002010-08-01T10:18:44.566-05:00We've made it halfway through the first year . . . .Well I haven’t written in a month . . . and, I could say it’s because I’ve been busy (which we have) but honestly, it’s more of an avoidance of wanting to sit down and put on paper the plethora of thoughts in my head. The reason? It’s not clear and I detest looking like I don’t have life figured out. My thoughts and feelings are all over the board lately, and it is infuriating me!
This week Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-70985755283629467962010-06-28T22:55:00.000-05:002010-06-28T22:55:15.474-05:00June Part 1I’m going to try this again tonight . . . .I’ve tried to write this about six times and I can’t get through the first paragraph. So, I’ve decided I’m just going to type and type and whatever comes out is what it is!! I think I’ve been so worried about making sure that the emotions I’m feeling or not feeling are right, or that my kids are so screwed up I’m not sure what to do with them, that I Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-34465730563080921732010-05-28T17:53:00.000-05:002010-05-28T17:53:24.338-05:00Happy Birthday to MeWell, I’ve been dreading this week --- but as much as one tries to make time stand still or flash forward, it doesn’t. You’re still required to live every single day. Tomorrow’s my birthday…. and you know what that means? Normally, it would mean that about three weeks ago you’d call me and say “Shell, sorry I’m not going to be home for your birthday, I’m going fishing with ______ in Canada, Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-8930451922867903102010-05-09T22:34:00.001-05:002010-05-09T22:42:12.767-05:00I miss my Mom!Well the first week of May has proven to be quite a roller coaster of emotion. My baby, your oldest grandchild, turned nine years old this week. Can you believe it? Remember the day he was born? I missed your retirement luncheon because I happen to be in the hospital giving birth that day. Gee, I’m glad you understood! I looked at the pictures we took of your first introduction to him. Your eyes Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-7609059610539308062010-04-30T14:55:00.000-05:002010-04-30T14:55:38.445-05:00Even now you give me insight . . . . .Now I know!So, mom was cleaning out your dresser and found some “cherished gems” that you had kept in your top drawer. Items included cards, pictures, etc from over the years that obviously meant a lot to you. She divided up what came from who and handed us our stack. Imagine my surprise when I saw what was in my stack! You had kept the letter I wrote to the family that donated your second kidney. In that Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-68229002267703357062010-04-19T00:19:00.000-05:002010-04-19T00:19:22.731-05:00Normal, not broken!Dad:
Oh what a week!!!! You know there’s hours, days, weeks, etc that life is normal. And it’s been that way since Easter. I go about doing the daily tasks needed to make this family run. Work, school, football practice, dinners, homework, laundry, cleaning, buying new cars, etc. I laugh, have fun, get mad, have PMS, sleep, and actually can FEEL again! I can’t say that a day goes by that I don’tRandom Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-44137366670722393672010-04-05T16:01:00.001-05:002010-04-05T16:02:35.069-05:00Easter 2010 ... the first of many "first holidays without"Dad:
Well . . . we made it through a first. . . the first big holiday and family gathering without you here. It was odd. An oddness I can’t adequately describe. I kept talking myself through it at different points throughout the week. “It’ll be ok. Enjoy your kids. Enjoy your brother and his family. Cook a nice meal. Keep the conversation light. Have fun - - hunt eggs --- play games and avoid Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-54660891782987699872010-03-22T23:28:00.007-05:002010-03-23T08:07:09.871-05:00Where are YOU? We NEED you!!!Dad:
Well . . . . when it rains it pours! WHY AREN’T YOU HERE to tell us it’s going to be ok! You always seem to have your wits about you in uncertain times . I don’t know if it was a learned behavior, your degree from the “school of hard knocks” , or just your amazing fatherly way of not knowing the “right” answer but showing me cool and calm under fire.
I needed you this week albeit&Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-7990279524357007872010-03-13T23:32:00.001-06:002010-03-13T23:32:47.074-06:00Happy Anniversary to me??Dad:
Eleven years ago today you walked me down the aisle, stood with me in the front of the church while “Butterfly Kisses” played, kissed me and shook DJ’s hand and told him to take care of me. So, on my 11th anniversary, I spent the day packing up and cleaning out the house of your dreams that you never had the chance to enjoy. The house on the lake. The everyday fishing. The place that you Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8857083696932907377.post-34603481997018844902010-03-10T22:52:00.000-06:002010-03-10T22:52:36.579-06:00WOW!! This is a scarey step.....my primary hope is it will at some point help someone else.So . . . . . I've spent a good deal of time the last four years providing updates on the status of my dad as he went through a massive heart attack, surgery, dialysis, two kidney transplants, a stroke and ultimately dying plus the journey with my second mom and her battle and victory with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. I never believed anyone read those updates for anything more than keeping Random Thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16710649712240117329noreply@blogger.com4